Scared
As the end of summer nears, our days mean more. Our time together, our laughs with eachother, our moments that each of us know cant last forever. It was not untill tonight that i realized the fear for college I should have awhile back. Well, not necessarily college, but the things that are going to change once college starts. The biggest dissapointment I truly have is falling for the belief that summer could last forever. No matter what went down this summer i was able to face it with a confidence and mindset that could take on anything in my life. 8 days left untill I leave for college, I was so close to making it out sad free. Tonight however i got caught up. I forgot everything and got lost in the moment. Sure I had my worries but i figured they could easily be beaten. It took one out of nowhere conversation to throw me off my guard. I could deal with my own worries, and to some extent the worries of others. I however did not realize there was so much on the table that was potentially going to be pulled. Sure it was just thoughtlessly random ramblings to some extent, it was just the severity of some of what was said that threw me off my summer high pedestal, especially after such an amazing day. i thank heaven the lights were out and the endorphins rushing to my face were clear from sight, or at least I hope. I don’t doubt it was seen, just hope that not much was thought of it. I am not used to getting this deep nor someone who is just as deep in return. Considering my past I’m surprised I was affected so badly. I am a different breed of man however. All of this just helped to expose the precautions I should have been taking. It is now tht I must take in every moment I am lucky enough to be graced with. Summer is ending and college is starting. I am not going to seperate the two with a period however. Instead I will place a semi colon there. It resembles that these two chapters of my life are intertwined. One is not plainly ending while the other is beginning. Instead one is the precursor to the man I have become and the actions and choices I will proceed to take in college. So at this point I may not be in complete control of whatever happens, however I will always be in control of how I handle each situation I am so lucky to live through. I am a confident young man with much to offer to this world, whether it be through words or actions. and right now all I can offer is my fullest attention towards life and the poeple in mine. Summer 2010 baby, end with a bang not a whimper!
